Dear Dorothy Dix

Dear Dorothy Dix,


Recently I got into a discussion with a friend about the relative merits and popularity of cricket vis-a-vis Judo.  This younger man has been known to me all his life, I attended his wedding 10 years ago and have been a close friend to his parents for nearly 50 years.

To my mind it was an interesting discussion because I argued the popularity of Judo worldwide could be in some ways measured by the nearly 200 IJF member nations as opposed to the 13-16 member nations of the International Cricket Council (ICC). I fully realize that cricket is a great game enjoyed by at least 2 billion people on the planet but unfortunately the rest of the planet's 7 billion have no real awareness of it as it is a sport largely restricted to former British Empire nations.

I finished my teasing and somewhat tongue-in-cheek argument with the comment: "cricket was a great game ..... if you didn't have the stones for Judo?"  

Somewhat to my surprise, my young friend who has had some limited Judo experience, expressed the view somewhat animatedly that if I ever again stated he didn't have the "stones for Judo", he might do something quiet unseemly with "my stones."  He was genuinely angry and failed to see the humour of the comment  (hence my reason for for categorizing this as "Judo Humour").

By this time I realized I had made a genuine but understandable error of judgment as to what constituted "humour" to my mind as opposed to his .....

Dear Dorothy, my poll question simply reflects my desire for some considered feedback from esteemed peers as to whether he or I was (to put it simply) the greater "DICK-HEAD" in this exchange.  It was not my intention to insult him personally and I come from a culture that routinely speaks in coarse idioms where the most commonly term of endearment is "YOU OLD BASTARD!"

Any other advice or comments are quite acceptable and I await your replies with anticipation. 

Your friend lost his temper. He should simply have replied that judo was a great game, too. Frankly, watching modern international judo is not dissimilar to watching international test cricket, particularly if England is playing.

I once had the pleasure of listening the BBC in my native country. They then told that BBC was now upgrading their service and would next broadcast a program that would definetely interest the sports fans all around the world. Then came two lads who introduced themselves and had some words about their expertize in sports. They announced that the best way to start the new program would be to have a "phone-in" where all and everybody could express opinions about sports that interested "every single person in the globe". They then asked people to phone in with questions and comments about "international cricket"!

I promptly turned the radio off.

Thanks for your replies DougNZ and Finarashi they are much appreciated.   

It would be great to get some extra comments so that I could more accurately get a cross-section of opinions. This event/reaction actually quite rattled me as it was so unexpected, the older you get the more rattled you became with the unexpected. I hope I'm not losing it!  

what's cricket?

Obviously, his cricket skills are better than his judo skills: you off balancesd his and he lost his temper! If you lose your temper in a discussion, you lose the conversation! It's even funnier that you were just joking around and he lost it!

heikojr

Another thought that I just had: if it were my friend and he lost his balance like that I'd throw him! I'd keep messing with him until he taps and ippon is called!

heikojr

Thank you heikojr. Every little bit helps me understand others perception of this problem. Unfortunately it may have ongoing implications for my long-term friendship with the parents.

Cricket?   

I suspect that if he were to run a similar poll on the Cricket forum that he too would get a somewhat scewed perspective from that community...  
Given that this forum is somewhat partial to 'judo' over 'cricket' it is not unreasonable that the seemingly (albiet small sample of respondents) majority of responses would on appearance appear to reinforce the notion of your struggle for closure from said 'uncomfortable' scenario...
Unfortunately, these responses are likely confounded with bias...
YOur best hope for closure is to simply reach out to the young man directly and clear the air with a simple and genuine apology that it was not your intention to offend him personnally...  
And then when he accepts your personal apology, there are no hard feelings and you are feeling better about yourself ...
- let him know that you still have a sense of humor by telling him that your intention was only to offend the entire 'cricket' community at large...  

That's just not cricket