Fading memories of your personal judo competitons (in the pre-video era)

My question is primarily directed at people who competed in judo in the pre-video era and who therefore do not possess video recordings of themselves competing (let's not get into things such as video copies of 8mm film).

I have found that many, perhaps even most of my memories of individual fights I have won, have faded, with the exception of some critical moments in time such as my first tsukinami-shiai fight for shodan, my 10th and last tsukinami-shiai point for shodan, my very first competitive fight, my very first medal, etc. On the other hand my memories of particular lost fights are much stronger alive: my only fight I ever lost through an armbar, the few times I was ever thrown for ippon, I remember those as if it were yesterday. I also feel I learnt more judo and about judo through the fights I lost than through the ones I won, in particular ways to devise a solution for the same thing to ever occur again. The other thing I remember vividly is the contests that led to serious injury. My question is if this similar for most of you or whether your experiences are totally different ? What are your strongest and weakest memories of your own competitions from those days before video ?

From your previous posts, I think it's fair to assume that you had far more competition experience - and at a much higher level - than me. I competed regionally and nationally in a small country where judo was a minority sport. This was primarily in the 1990's where it was technically and financially possible to record fights (small hand-held camcorders were uncommon, but available), but certainly this was rare. I think I have two or three matches on tape somewhere and one of these is mostly of the back of someone's head. It simply was not common to record or document things to the degree that happens now.

With that broad caveat, I would say that I also struggle to recall my competition days. I remember clearly my first competition, specifically the final match of that day, and then generally I have memories of the times I lost. For example, I remember quite clearly holding someone in kesa-gatame and being turned over and held for ippon. I also remember clearly a handful of times I was thrown quite spectacularly for ippon.

Other than that, I don't recall matches I won very well.

I've recently begun competing again and all of these matches are well recorded, often by several people. Of course these are much more recent in my memory, but oddly enough when I think of these matches, I recall the youtube clip and not so much the match itself. I struggle to recall the experience of being on the tatami, and instead seem to replay the clip in my mind as if I was an external viewer.

I agree. I do not recall the first match where I won somebody with a black belt. I know who and I know where, but don't recall the match. I only remeber that I felt confident and energetic going into that match. I recall the final few seconds of the match where I won the national under 18 championships. I was loosing but managed to strangle my opponent. I recall the 'incident' where working in a tournament where IJF referee licence hopefuls were judged for their capabilities; I strangled my opponent and when the referee didn't react started opening up the strangle. Ended tapping the opponent with my foot on the face. Got penalty. Had my opponent revived and lost by that penalty. But even there I remeber only the about 5 seconds where my foot taps the opponent. Have fleeting glimpses of my ~50 wrestling matches, but can not place them to a specific match.
Recall one of my last matches where I was loosing, then decided 'not to loose' and stared attacking, turned the match untill I ran out of gas and was beaten. There I only recall the moment I felt I will loose this match as I have no energy left.
So glimpses and moments from here and ther. No recollection of any very dynamic events like me throwing for big score.

Ha! I remember every match I ever lost, and the ones that I won all kind of merge together except things like the Pacific Rims finals, World Finals, World Trial Finals, PanAm Games Finals, etc. Memory research is pretty consistent on our memories be better for events that have an emotional aspect (Where were you when Kennedy was killed - or for younger people, on 9/11) and also for events that are in some way exceptional - the first time you beat your big rival, even if that rival was 12 and you were 11.