PJ wrote:I know judo's not about revenge etc., however, arrogant and patronising instructors / black belts do not help the martial art.
In my usual club this week (which is usually good), there was a guy who recently became blackbelt and who I had to randori with. I'm a much lower grade. Now I wasn't expecting to win against a blackbelt but I was giving it my best effort anyway and all he did was patronise me. Now I dont expect people to help me necessarily in randori, however, it's useful when they do as I hadn't done judo for years before a few weeks back so I've forgotten a massive amount of stuff, but this guy would act like he was helping by suggesting something and then when I tried what he suggested and it didn't work, he would be patronising.
It seems like now he's got his blackbelt, which only shows that his JUDO SKILLS are superior to lower grades, he feels like HE is superior to lower grades.
Don't get me wrong, I would have no problem if a randori partner didn't try to help me; it is randori after all, but this guy was just so incredibly patronising.
So my question is, if I re-learn enough stuff by next lesson (about a week from now), say from the internet etc., and learn enough new stuff the same way, would it be possible to floor him just once to teach him a lesson in humility, or would he see everything coming because of his grade?
I know this sounds like "revenge" but these guys are the kind of people who put people off judo, and as you probably know if you're in the UK, clubs don't have a massive attendance rate (when it comes to adults anyway) as it is.
I know you are asking a fairly simple question, and the easiest way for someone to respond would be a simple 'yes' or 'no', but I don't think that really that is what is at the core of your post. Posts like yours are very difficult for a forum audience to provide fair, proportional and educational response to. This partly is because an individual's experience is produced as the objective truth with the validity of any response depending on the accuracy of that perception. I could say something fairly innocent to someone, yet that person could feel deeply hurt. What is now true ? That what I have said, or the pain of the protagonist ? The fact that I may have never intended that what the other one heard or perceived does not make her/his pain any less real.
In a situation like the one you describe, after hearing your story, it would be very helpful to then listen to the perceptions and version of the black belt. After that, it would probably be useful to hear the versions of other people present and how they perceived you and how they perceived the black belt. I think you know as well as I do that chances are that we might get some quite different stories. So what is true ? They all may be true, or at least perhaps not 'true' in the literal sense, but reflect each individual's reality. Even on this forum there are people who are nice and just trying to help, and yet some are as water and fire. Why ? Because personalities sometimes conflict, because people might have just started off on the wrong foot, because at one point something happened that both parties regret yet the situation was never mended, and a two dozen other reasons. It happens, and you have to accept that.
None of us can say if the situation you describe can ever be satisfactorily repaired, but ... you may in future be able to help preventing a similar situation irrespective of who really is at fault when such a situation occurs.
I think the question you are asking is not the right question to ask. I think that "this town ain't large enough for the two of us, so let' meet at sundown at the Boothill" is something to leave for romanticized tales and movies. Ultimately what you want is to be able to socially and sportively thrive in the environment you have chosen and to do so for a long time. Pissing contests and regular testosterone comparisons do not offer the best chance for that prospect to be realized.
For a second, let's imagine that next week through some miraculous, highly secret technique you have learnt from one of the Judo Forum Gurus you succeed in throwing this black belt once hard flat on his back. Do you honestly think that this then will be the end of it, and he will now have been taught a lesson en be off your back forever ?
Jûdô is above all 'yawara': flex, avoid, let all tension pass and glide off you. Your focus should be on your own development, not on putting someone else back on the rails, assuming that is what is happening. If that is truly happening, that is the sensei's responsibility, just as it is the sensei's responsibility if one of his/her members are threatens the practice of jûdô as a safe activity. If this black belt you are talking about really needs to be taught a lesson, why bother about it yourself ? Rest assured that the day will come that someone more experienced than you, and him will come along and do that for you. THAT IS YAWARA TOO !
While yes, there are dirty techniques you can quickly learn, this isn't the way to go, for many reasons, just one of them being that the black belt might be able to get a lot nastier than maybe he might be now, and he might know more dirty tricks than you. You are not going to suddenly learn jûdô in a week. A technique isn't just a matter of 'moves'. It needs to be incorporated in a strategic game, it needs to be performed with fluidity, explosiveness, at the right moment, and with optimal control and coordination. The movement you may well learn in a week, even in a day, its proper and effective application, no way. In fact, it probably is more effective to focus on optimizing your ukemi. I am talking of experience. I had the doubtful pleasure for many years to regularly be part of the canon meat for a notorious Olympic champion whose name does not matter here although many forum members will know who I mean. He was two weigh classes heavier than me and would every so many seconds flatten me on the tatami more often than not on my face rather than on my back and this with an amount of explosive power you can't even begin to imagine its extent. The idea of "how would I teach this guy a lesson" would be a fun fantasy idea, but not realistic. But this I can tell you, I never quit a single randori against him before the full 5 minutes (or however long they lasted), and each time within seconds I was back on my feet facing him again. Sometimes he tried to throw me even harder, and he actually also did, and I just imagined I was a rubber ball, which is what I often felt alike, apart from the muscle soreness the day after. There is a point where you don't feel pain or humiliation any more as you have reached the point of saturation, and rather than prevent it, I considered it a moment to embrace. I can also tell you this, developing the ability to be thrown, an thrown, and flattened and flattened so that your opponent eventually starts to feel that no matter what they do to you, it does not matter, will be your own little victory. Above anything else, it is something from which you learn, something that shapes the foundation of that what later your jûdô skills will be created on, and it's an everlasting skill that will serve you much more in jûdô, but also in life, rather than any secret Internet jûdô technique that likely will not work but could get you even in a lot more trouble.
If it's all too much and you can't find your wisdom in Kanô, find it in a Hollywood movie and apply it to jûdô, or to use 'Al Swearengen's words in Deadwood: "Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back."
Good luck !